Episode 13
S3E13 - "The Hurt Locket"
This week on the Non Judging Breakfast Pod, Leif and Steve are back at it, diving headfirst into the deliciously tangled web of relationships in Gossip Girl Season 3, Episode 13, "The Hurt Locket." Buckle up, because secrets are popping out like popcorn at a movie premiere, and the stakes are higher than a pair of stilettos on the Upper East Side! Serena and Nate are wrestling with their feelings like it’s an Olympic sport, all while trying to dodge the drama thrown their way by the mysterious and oh-so-smooth Damien. And let’s not forget Chuck, who’s on a truth-seeking mission regarding his mother that leads to some jaw-dropping revelations that could flip the entire Gossip Girl universe upside down!
Join Leif and Steve as they navigate the chaotic dynamics of the Upper East Side, filled with questionable decisions (hey there, Jenny and your drug escapades!), and the rollercoaster ride of Rufus and Lily’s marriage. Expect a hearty dose of laughs, sharp commentary, and a few eye-rolls as our dynamic duo breaks down the episode’s most unforgettable moments. From Blair's relentless ambition to the ever-watchful eye of Gossip Girl herself, this episode is packed with the kind of scandal and secrets that keep you hooked like a guilty pleasure you just can’t quit. So, grab your favorite breakfast treat—be it waffle, a smoothie, or maybe just a good ol’ cup of coffee—and settle in for another scrumptious episode filled with all the drama you crave!
Produced by Leif Capicola and Steve Marchion.
Edited and mixed by Leif Capicola.
The Gossip Girl Theme Performed By Steve Marchion.
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Transcript
Dear the letter. Dear Serena, I banged your
Steve:mom. I don't love you.
Steve:Xoxo, your dad also,
Steve:I'm Gossip Girl.
Steve:He's been making her life a living hell for the
Steve:past two years.
Steve:Her dad's actually Gossip Girl.
Leif:Hey, Upper east siders, and all you scandal loving listeners out there,
Leif:there you just tuned into the non judging breakfast
Leif:pod where the coffee is strong, the
Leif:waffles are fresh, and the gossip is hotter than
Leif:ever. My name is Leaf and I'm your seasoned Gossip
Leif:Girl veteran.
Steve:And I'm Steve, the newbie, the
Steve:greenhorn, the. I don't know, Leif. What, um, am I
Steve:now that we're in season three?
Leif:I don't know, but I have more important things to do than search
Leif:for another member of the Bar Bass fan club.
Steve:Yeah, but Leif, what if that's my mother?
Steve:So here's the deal, folks. Leif has
Steve:been watching since the beginning and I am
Steve:tuning in for the very first time. Together,
Steve:we are going to bring you all the drama,
Steve:the romance, and sometimes questionable
Steve:fashion choices of this iconic
Steve:2007 series.
Leif:Bring your magnifying glasses, because each week we're
Leif:dissecting every juicy detail of the show. We
Leif:one episode at a time. We'll connect the dots,
Leif:uncover those sneaky little Easter eggs, and of course,
Leif:serve up some piping hot behind the scenes tea.
Leif:And expect some iconic fandom moments too,
Leif:because what's a deep dive without a little drama?
Steve:And since we are all about inclusivity here at the
Steve:non judging breakfast pod, there is always room for
Steve:you at the non judging breakfast table. So go ahead
Steve:and grab a mimosa, a cup of coffee, or
Steve:roll up something from Chuck's stash and let's go
Steve:ahead and get into this.
Leif:But before we get into the episode, we got another
Leif:comment from, uh, Nostalgic Edit.
Leif:She Posted on episode
Leif:310. They shoot Humphreys. Uh, or no, that was the
Leif:last. The last days of the disco stick. And her
Leif:comment was this episode is all
Leif:over the place. Lol. But very
Leif:Layla Gerstein. I don't think you guys have discussed the
Leif:fact that she created Heart of Dixie. I find she's great
Leif:at writing towards Blair and Layton and. And Summer Rachel
Leif:comedic silly sides, which I love. Oh,
Leif:yeah, I did that. She was the
Leif:showrunner for that show.
Steve:Yeah, me neither.
Leif:Never really got into that one.
Steve:Yeah, I didn't. I. I've never seen it. I
Steve:will say that I do agree with the fact
Steve:that she really captured those
Steve:pieces of the characters really well though. I
Steve:mean, yeah.
Leif:And, uh, the Other thing I want to mention is I was watching a behind
Leif:the scenes video of, uh, Pam Badgley for,
Leif:uh, the. You final in, and
Leif:he pointed out that the soundstage
Leif:that is now or probably no longer is, but it
Leif:was for a couple years there.
Steve:The cage was.
Steve:Was in the Waldorf
Steve:apartment.
Leif:Yes.
Steve:And the loft. And the loft was the.
Leif:Was the bookstore.
Steve:Was the bookstore, yes. Yeah, I thought that was
Steve:really interesting. I actually also saw.
Steve:I saw, uh, Chase Crawford doing an interview,
Steve:and I typically flip right past a lot
Steve:of these things because I'm worried they're going to say something.
Steve:Uh, I, uh, saw Blake Lively one
Steve:time mentioned that she was going to marry her or be
Steve:stepbrother with her boyfriend when.
Steve:That. Right before Rufus and Lily got married, things
Steve:like that.
Steve:This.
Steve:It was Chase very specifically talking about
Steve:when he and Ed first
Steve:joined the cast, and they had just shot the
Steve:pilot episode and how
Steve:the two of them were brand new to New York.
Steve:This guy from England, this guy from Texas. And they're
Steve:like, well, should we just room together? And they're like, sure.
Steve:And so they only knew each other.
Leif:Ah, Chase's dad actually put up the money for,
Leif:like, down the deposit.
Steve:Yeah. Yeah. Because they didn't have any money because they were
Steve:just out of college and just
Steve:starting their careers. And
Steve:they went out to this concert, and they were already
Steve:recognized before the show
Steve:was released. They had shot the pilot, but it wasn't out
Steve:yet. And then Chase talked about
Steve:how surreal it was to then
Steve:go from being this. I don't want
Steve:to say poor, but this kid who was just
Steve:starting out to then
Steve:kind of living the Nate Archibald
Steve:life and then being
Steve:Nate Archibald in the city where Nate
Steve:Archibald is famous.
Steve:So it was. And for him and
Steve:Ed to just kind of become those
Steve:roles in the very beginning, which also kind
Steve:of explains at least a little bit about Ed.
Leif:And then the interview you saw, uh, was, uh,
Leif:from the call your daddy podcast. But actually that's something
Leif:that Chase has been saying for years. He's kind of been
Leif:pretty open. They roomed together for at least, like, two
Leif:years, I think.
Steve:Yeah. The.
Leif:Those two and Jessica Zor, who plays
Leif:Vanessa.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:Were kind of like a trio.
Steve:Oh, okay. I didn't realize that kind of makes
Steve:sense. I could see that. Uh,
Steve:it's always funny. We talked a little bit last week
Steve:about Topher Grace and how he had
Steve:nothing, wanted nothing to do with the rest of
Steve:that 70s show cast. And it is funny when
Steve:you learn about these clicks that go on
Steve:inside M and outside of it. You know, we have These best
Steve:friends of Serena and Blair. But as we've said,
Steve:Blake and Leon are completely different people.
Steve:They're. They're. They come from completely different places,
Steve:completely different backgrounds. So
Steve:it's.
Leif:While the show is running, you kind of had Ed Chase
Leif:and Jessica hanging out. You had
Leif:Connor and Taylor Momson were
Leif:hanging out.
Steve:That. That tracks. The kids he
Steve:had. Is. Is Connor. Was Connor age
Steve:appropriate like Jenny? That's. He's. I mean, he looks it.
Leif:Yeah. I think he's like a year or two older, but he's still
Leif:in school at the start of the show.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:And then Pen and Blake were.
Steve:They.
Leif:Neither of them really drink and they just kind of were in their
Leif:own love bubble for the first three seasons.
Steve:Yeah. Yeah. So they're still together now
Steve:on the show, right?
Leif:Yeah, it's pretty close. I think they're getting pretty close
Leif:to the breakup.
Steve:Okay.
Leif:Uh, I'll look up when that
Leif:exactly happened because I know it's coming up soon, I think.
Leif:And then Layton was.
Leif:I guess something's just kind of like a homebody. Yeah,
Leif:she liked to read.
Steve:That makes sense. It really makes sense that she likes
Steve:to read too. She plays smart characters
Steve:and I feel like that's something that she looks for
Steve:in roles.
Leif:Well, let's get into this episode.
Leif:Season 3 Episode 13 the
Leif:Hurt Locket Original Air Date was March
Leif:8, 2010 just over three months
Leif:since the last episode.
Steve:Right.
Leif:Which is a long break.
Steve:It's a long break and it
Steve:doesn't feel like it was shot three months
Steve:later. And it doesn't feel like we're supposed to believe it
Steve:was a three month break. Like it feels like
Steve:it picks up a week or two
Steve:later.
Leif:Trying to think, could it have been like Winter
Leif:Olympics or something? I don't
Leif:know. What. We made that long delay in
Leif:2009-2010.
Steve:Yeah, I mean, Winter Olympics is one thing.
Steve:There wasn't another strike or anything like
Steve:that. I wonder if some. Maybe something was going
Steve:on at the cw. Maybe they like
Steve:brought in a new show that. A, um, mid season
Steve:show that they wanted to ramp up for a bit. But
Steve:it was a weird break.
Leif:And uh, of course the title is based on the Hurt
Leif:Locker, which I was shocked to find out was almost.
Leif:It's almost 20 years old that movies in
Leif:2008.
Steve:When that. When I saw that that was
Steve:the title of the episode, I felt
Steve:so fucking old. It was
Steve:how is the hurt locker?
Steve:20 years old. Like, like blew
Steve:my mind.
Leif:But of course, yeah, if you haven't seen it, it was directed by Catherine
Leif:Bigelow A little bit of an adventures
Leif:reunion cast featuring Anthony Mackie,
Leif:Jeremy Renner and Evangeline Lilly.
Steve:It's. Yeah, yeah.
Leif:Along with Guy Pierce, David Morris and Ralph Phineas.
Steve:It's a tense movie. I. Have you seen it?
Steve:Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a tense movie.
Steve:Good movie. I think Kathryn Bigelow is
Steve:a really good director. She's done some other really
Steve:great films too.
Leif:And David Morse is ah. A. Is a local.
Leif:Oh, I actually one time I saw him at
Leif:the sushi restaurant I was at.
Steve:No kidding.
Leif:Got you. I can.
Steve:Yeah. I didn't realize that.
Leif:This episode was written by Sarah
Leif:Goodman, one of the executive producers of the
Leif:show. This is her second of three episodes this season.
Leif:Previous episode was 307.
Leif:How to Succeed in Bassness.
Steve:How did we feel about that one?
Leif:I think we like that one.
Steve:Felt like the writing in this
Steve:one.
Leif:Yeah. This was not a good episode.
Steve:I didn't think. No.
Leif:Uh, this episode was directed by Tony
Leif:Warmby. Uh, back in the chair for the seventh
Leif:and final episode of the series
Leif:O but he previously did Victor
Leif:Victrola, School Lies, Woman on the Verge,
Leif:Chuck in Real Life, and the R of the Basses and most
Leif:recently the Last Days of Disco Stick. Yeah, uh,
Leif:yeah, the last two episodes. Not, not. Not that
Leif:great, man. Not.
Steve:I like Disco Stick enough.
Leif:It was funny.
Steve:Yeah, it was a fun episode. I really liked Blair and
Steve:Nate in that episode. I.
Steve:Yeah, not surprised. This was the
Steve:last.
Leif:Why don't you give us that vulture recap?
Steve:Ok. Everybody needs
Steve:to play games. Blair Waldorf, the scheming queen
Steve:of the Upper east side, says early on in the
Steve:first episode of the new spring season
Steve:of Gossip Girl. If only by
Steve:that she meant sexual role playing games
Steve:involving characters from Tolstoy.
Steve:Alas, the New Yorkers on Gossip Girl, like
Steve:New Yorkers in real life, choose to play
Steve:games that are far less satisfying.
Steve:Serena, feeling rejected by Nate after
Steve:he tries to heed her dictum M to go
Steve:slow, tries to make him jealous by flirting
Steve:with international drug dealer and ambassador
Steve:son Damian. Rufus, feeling
Steve:rejected by Lily after her off screen make
Steve:out session with Keith Van Der Woodsen,
Steve:turns to conveniently available neighbor
Steve:lady in hopes that she will, er,
Steve:lick his wounds.
Steve:Meanwhile, his daughter Jenny takes her
Steve:lauded Humphrey Boggle skills and
Steve:applies them to masterminding a
Steve:complicated drug transaction.
Steve:Lily is coy about the exact nature of her
Steve:interaction with Serena's father and the
Steve:mysterious Elizabeth Fisher plays dumb
Steve:about her relationship with Bart Bass. Only
Steve:Dan remains uninterested in deception
Steve:and in pursuit of the similarly earnest
Steve:Vanessa forlornly spends the
Steve:episode reading how to turn friends into
Steve:Lovers. He'll end up in
Steve:clogs. Sorry for the
Steve:messed up reading. I dropped my phone
Steve:and shattered the screen last weekend,
Steve:and it is the
Steve:in, like, the entire screen, and it's a pain
Steve:in my ass.
Leif:I have her a new phone.
Steve:Yeah, and it already was, but I was just
Steve:putting it off, and then that happened, and so it's
Steve:like.
Leif:Okay, well, let's get into
Leif:the episode. Act one begins with
Leif:Gossip Girl monologue.
Leif:It was the best of times. It was the worst of
Leif:times. Seems Dickens do something about life on
Leif:the Upper east side where the only one thing
Leif:you can count on is times. Changes everything.
Leif:Word has it s. Gave up politics to focus
Leif:on issues closer to her heart.
Steve:Gave up politics.
Steve:Gave up politic.
Leif:That's fired. We open
Leif:with a phone conversation between Serena and Blair.
Leif:Serena is excited for Nate to come home, but Blaire
Leif:advises her to take things slow. As they hang
Leif:up, Blair finds the locket from last episode.
Steve:Yeah, I chuckled at that Serena gave
Steve:up politics thing. She was never in politics.
Steve:Politics were in her.
Leif:She sort of was. She was officially
Leif:hired by the campaign.
Steve:Okay, okay. She was.
Steve:I repeat, the politics were in her
Steve:more than she was in politics.
Leif:Hey, we don't know what Trip is into.
Steve:No, that's also true.
Steve:Does he have a fish thing?
Steve:Why, I oughta. Blair also
Steve:knows Nate. The
Steve:conversation with Serena. Now,
Steve:the friends all give terrible advice here, but
Steve:it comes from this place that they really do know these
Steve:people. Blair knows Nate better than
Steve:probably anyone else. Which is funny,
Steve:because I don't think Blair. Nate knows Blair as well as Blair
Steve:knows Nate, which I think is a huge thing
Steve:that we've picked up from their relationship all along.
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:Whereas Chuck knows Blair
Steve:better than anyone.
Leif:Serena bumps into Damien and we learn they went to
Leif:boarding school together.
Steve:Of course they did.
Leif:I think Serena was just being friendly when she says
Leif:she will see Damien at the dinner party tomorrow, but
Leif:I think Damien is getting other ideas.
Steve:Yes, of course they remember each other from the school
Steve:she attended for five minutes,
Steve:which the later references to this. Was
Steve:she there for a year? Yeah.
Leif:When they come back, she's been gone a year.
Steve:Oh, right. I don't know why I was
Steve:thinking it was just the summer, but, yes, you're right. She was
Steve:gone one year without her friend. Okay,
Steve:I forgot that. I don't know why I was
Steve:thinking she was gone for a summer that she went to
Steve:boarding school. In
Steve:my head, watching this, it
Steve:was. She went to Boarding school in
Steve:September. Eric tried to kill himself. She came
Steve:right home.
Leif:She was there for a year, but. What? I flagged up the scene.
Leif:She tells him to text her his number.
Leif:She's just assuming that he has her number.
Steve:I'm sure you stalked me at some.
Leif:Point, but then again, Serena just does.
Leif:Just throw her phone away.
Steve:She does. She does. Well.
Leif:And man, this is pre cloud.
Steve:She's. She's such a narcissist.
Steve:Of course you have my number.
Steve:Just make sure when you text me, I know it's you, because
Steve:I do throw away phones.
Leif:Blair asks Chuck about the locket. Chuck is
Leif:dismissive and lets us know that one of his
Leif:father's quote unquote concubines had Bart's
Leif:names tattooed on her ass. Blair asks
Leif:for help getting an introduction to the rumored president
Leif:of Tabla Alitaire, which Blair is still
Leif:obsessed with despite acting like he doesn't care about
Leif:the necklace. As Blair leaves, we see Chuck
Leif:with a text from Andrew Tyler, who has found the
Leif:jeweler.
Steve:Ooh. Ah, secret, uh, society.
Steve:Ooh. Ah, secret
Steve:society. Is this a new secret society or have we seen this
Steve:one?
Leif:This is the same one that, uh, Georgina tricked her with
Leif:about earlier.
Steve:Okay, right, right, right. With the, with the painting, with
Steve:the art. With the photograph.
Leif:Yes, Correct.
Steve:Okay.
Leif:We see Lily helping Jenny unpack.
Leif:We find out that Jenny spent some time with Allison and Hudson,
Leif:and Rufus has been away with Lincoln Hawk and Telluride.
Leif:Damien interrupts with a welcome back gift for Jenny.
Leif:Lily is concerned about leaving Jenny alone in her room with
Leif:Damien, but Jenny brushes it off. Also, it
Leif:seems like Lily and Rufus haven't been talking over the long break.
Steve:Yeah, fucking, of course, Rufus. Of course,
Steve:Rufus. Oh, I get this letter. Instead of finding out
Steve:anything about it, I'm just going to run away. I'm going to go to
Steve:Telluride and ski because I'm so mad at my
Steve:wife. So I'm just going to take her credit card and go to
Steve:Telluride with my band and I'm going to
Steve:go play a show and Telluride and not
Steve:take my wife.
Leif:I just get Rufus, like, keep his band in a
Leif:closet because they don't seem to have any other
Leif:lines. Whenever he's ready to go on tour, they're there. He
Leif:wants to go off for a, uh, ski trip. They're there.
Steve:They've all taken their every
Steve:time money and, like, banked it,
Steve:and they've all just got huge, huge
Steve:stock portfolios. They do nothing but just sit around.
Steve:Uh, they probably have their own band. Like the band.
Steve:Like, we.
Steve:We don't realize they're actually Maroon 5.
Leif:Yeah. They're just such NPCs.
Steve:They are. They just. They're always ready to.
Leif:Uh. We quickly find out Jenny was, in fact, telling the truth
Leif:about her relationship with Damian not being romantic. Turns
Leif:out Damien has a puzzle involving drugs that he
Leif:needs Jenny's help solving.
Steve:I liked that. I did like, you
Steve:know, the. You're a good puzzle solver.
Steve:And I do like it. The Humphrey gaming
Steve:thing. And it is one of those.
Steve:Being a gamer. Uh, you and I both know this as
Steve:gamers. It makes us. It
Steve:does have that problem solving
Steve:component to it, you know? And
Steve:so I do love that that was kind of
Steve:showcased. Also, I want to dial back just a
Steve:second to the conversation between Lily and Jenny
Steve:where Lily's like, hey, your dad and I
Steve:haven't discussed this.
Steve:I don't know what to do in this situation. And
Steve:Jenny's like, if we wanted to have sex, we'd go to a
Steve:hotel. We're just gonna go in there and talk. If anything changes, I'll open
Steve:the door. We're cool. And
Steve:I feel like there's a part of me that would be like, fuck,
Steve:that the door stays open. But there's
Steve:a bigger part of me that's like, she's got a
Steve:point. Like, she's got a point.
Leif:They could just grab a hotel.
Steve:Uh, yeah.
Leif:Hell, Damien probably is living in a hotel.
Steve:Yeah. Yeah.
Leif:Rufus comes home to the loft rather than the penthouse
Leif:and immediately ignores a call from Lily.
Leif:Short scene, but, yeah, he just beat a dish.
Steve:Like, fuck you, Rufus.
Leif:God, that's a child.
Steve:I cannot fucking.
Leif:I mean, they're both children.
Steve:They are. They are Lily. I have, uh,
Steve:written down here somewhere much later that Lily
Steve:is the reason Serena is a narcissist,
Steve:because Lily is just as big of a narcissist.
Steve:It's just that Lily also can
Steve:manage her shit a lot better and can brush
Steve:her shit off so much more. Honestly, if
Steve:Rufus right now at the end of this episode, if
Steve:Rufus really was like, okay, Lily, we're done. Lily.
Steve:Okay, okay, I'll. I'll find number
Steve:six.
Leif:Chuck is at the jeweler and finds out that Bart is
Leif:the one who bought the locket. And a woman matching the description
Leif:of the one from the graveyard brought the necklace in about a
Leif:month ago for a repair. Chuck bribes
Leif:the jeweler into giving him the name of the woman
Leif:and the hotel she is staying at. The
Leif:name is Elizabeth Fisher.
Steve:This locket is all that I have left of my dad.
Steve:And the billion dollars that I, you know, spent on this hotel
Steve:and the billions of dollars he left me that I then
Steve:squandered to buy another hotel instead of
Steve:running a hotel chain.
Leif:Gossip Girl begins the next scene
Leif:with enough time we all find what we're looking
Leif:for.
Leif:Serena gets off the elevator to find Nate waiting for
Leif:her a day early. They both agree to take things
Leif:slow. But before immediately
Leif:making out with each other, things continue getting hotter. And
Leif:Gossip Girl continues.
Leif:And when time slows and suddenly
Leif:every moment count, all you want is
Leif:for the time to last forever.
Steve:Nate, don't you have a driver waiting for you?
Steve:Weren't you just a second ago? Like. Well, I should get going. There's a guy
Steve:down there waiting to take me back to my house.
Leif:I mean he's paid to drive.
Steve:Just circle the block or just park illegally
Steve:and he'll pay the just parked in front of you.
Leif:But we really needed derota to just follow these two around with a water
Leif:bottle up.
Steve:Yes.
Leif:Stop being horny.
Steve:Stop being horny. Newspaper
Steve:pops out of the. Pops out of the coats. Between
Steve:the coats
Steve:in the coat room.
Leif:Yes. We get into act two.
Leif:We, uh, get some more Nate and Dan. Bro time at the
Leif:cafe. Sounds like Vanessa has been ghosting Dan. All
Leif:break. Causing him to read at least five self help
Leif:blogs on how to turn friends to lovers.
Steve:Dan. So fucking pathetic.
Steve:And then that is. It's kind
Steve:of stalking almost. It's stalker
Steve:adjacent. I'd say to
Steve:obsess this way.
Leif:Yeah. Yeah. He definitely came on way
Leif:too strong. You don't go from friends to I
Leif:love you.
Steve:Yeah. Ah. And also get over it. Like
Steve:Vanessa was very clear. This
Steve:isn't happening. She shut that shit down. She
Steve:got up, she walked away. I've never
Steve:loved Vanessa more than in that
Steve:moment. And Dan, you're.
Steve:You're kind of sad at this point.
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:Because you don't really love her. You just saw her naked
Steve:and you kind of think, maybe I want to see her naked again.
Steve:Which.
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:Ah. Which I. I don't blame you.
Leif:But. Yeah. So the conversation. You don't go right from
Leif:friends to I love you. You say we
Leif:had sex and I'm. My feelings might be changing.
Leif:Let's grab some dinner and see what happens.
Steve:Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Somebody. Something.
Steve:I realized something
Steve:from that experience. Can we give
Steve:this a shot? I love you.
Steve:No. Dan and
Steve:Vanessa's I love you back was so appropriate.
Steve:Okay. We already talked about. About that.
Leif:Blair and Serena meet for lunch. And Blair
Leif:immediately smells the sex on, um. Serena.
Leif:The scene keeps switching Back and forth from BNS to
Leif:Dan and Nate. Dan and Blair are both giving
Leif:horrible advice to Nate and Serena, respectively.
Steve:I love that she sees the JBF hair
Steve:and Serena, like, she just looks at
Steve:her face and she's glowing.
Leif:She's.
Steve:Yeah, she is. She is. Oh, and her hair was a mess too.
Steve:But just that. I just love that Blair
Steve:knows her so well to be like, oh, uh, that didn't last.
Steve:I. And of course, they're both giving.
Steve:They're both giving terrible advice. The thing
Steve:is, they're both speaking
Steve:from experience with these
Steve:people, so nothing they're saying is
Steve:necessarily wrong.
Steve:It is their experience with Nate and
Steve:Serena, respectively. Dan
Steve:needs to just not be such a
Steve:douche about Serena, because
Steve:this is the second time he's kind of blocked
Steve:Serena. There was that other time that he was talking
Steve:to somebody who liked, uh, her. That. Who, who was
Steve:it? Was it Aaron?
Leif:I think so.
Steve:Uh, yeah. But there's been. Yeah, there's just
Steve:been a few times that he lets things out about
Steve:Serena from his experience. He's
Steve:not lying, he's not wrong. But Dan, just shut the fuck
Steve:up and stop being jaded about.
Steve:I feel like a lot of it comes from Dan
Steve:was in love with this person from afar
Steve:and then realized that everybody. Is
Steve:that what she. What he saw wasn't
Steve:what he was in love with. Yeah, I still think they'll
Steve:end up back together at some point, but, yeah, Giving terrible
Steve:advice to two golden retrievers.
Leif:Jenny and Damon are trying to figure out how to
Leif:smuggle the drugs into a state dinner to sell to the
Leif:ambassador's daughter. Jenny comes up with the
Leif:idea to use her fashion skills to sew the pills into
Leif:decorative packets on a jacket.
Steve:I like it. I, I, I thought, I thought it was
Steve:really clever. I love Jenny's problem solving.
Steve:I loved her explaining it
Steve:to Damien, who was like, what?
Steve:We're gonna, we're gonna put it in the
Steve:pills, in the pockets. They're not
Steve:gonna be empty.
Leif:Dan returns home to the loft to find Lily waiting
Leif:outside looking for Rufus. Dan is
Leif:surprised to see Rufus's ski gear in the loft, but
Leif:Rufus is nowhere to be found.
Steve:Yeah, and Dan does not cover
Steve:for his dad at all. Like, nope, he's been here.
Steve:And, and I love it because Dan doesn't
Steve:put up with bullshit like that.
Steve:He, Dan doesn't like the games. And as he
Steve:shows us later, nope, my dad's home
Steve:somewhere. You can keep trying.
Leif:Blair is wearing lingerie and an ushanka.
Leif:Uh, and calls Chuck in a Russian accent, asking him
Leif:when he'll be back. Chuck is evasive and Blair
Leif:immediately starts snooping and finds the file on the
Leif:locket.
Steve:I thought Blair was supposed to go to lunch with Chuck
Steve:and that guy for the introduction,
Steve:and that's not proper lunch attire
Steve:is all.
Leif:But also, why did Chuck leave those
Leif:documents out? Knowing Blair and knowing that
Leif:she has access to his suite, did he
Leif:subconsciously or consciously want
Leif:her to get involved?
Steve:Probably a little of column A and a little of column B.
Steve:Probably A. I should put this away
Steve:because Blair might find it. But it's okay.
Steve:I'm just gonna leave it out anyway.
Leif:Chuck has been waiting outside a little Elizabeth's
Leif:hotel for four hours. However, when Chuck
Leif:complains to the doorman, he is informed that Elizabeth
Leif:immediately checked out of the hotel when she got Chuck's
Leif:message. Yeah,
Leif:yeah, the other shitty parent.
Steve:Yep.
Leif:She fits right in.
Leif:An awkward. Blair passes a bemused Nate as
Leif:she is leaving Chuck's suite, still dressed as Anna Karenina.
Steve:I loved this interaction. It
Steve:was so quick. It was this.
Steve:It's from Anna Karenina. You haven't read it?
Steve:Don't worry about it. I never do.
Steve:Which. Which you realize. How
Steve:many times has Blair made
Steve:Nate roleplay characters
Steve:from Aubrey Hepburn movies and
Steve:her favorite books that Nate
Steve:would never fucking watch or read? He
Steve:probably sat through the movies because at least they were talking
Steve:pictures, but he wasn't.
Steve:There's no way he's read any of these
Steve:books. But how many times did he put
Steve:on his fucking.
Steve:Whatever costume Blair wanted
Steve:for the role play of, um, all of
Steve:these scenarios? It just made me really. When his
Steve:response to I never do,
Steve:it's like, yep, he's been here.
Leif:Rufus is standing outside of Billy's building trying
Leif:to decide if he wants to know the truth or if he wants to be in
Leif:denial. However, he is interrupted by Holland,
Leif:who is out walking her dogs. Holland invites him
Leif:to grab a cup of coffee and Rufus agrees.
Steve:Here, why don't we just walk arm in arm
Steve:together while I'm trying to figure out
Steve:about my wife, you dumb fucking asshole.
Leif:Well, like, she had the umbrella, but it wasn't raining.
Steve:Yeah, yeah.
Leif:Like, I think they wanted the scene to be raining, but maybe it
Leif:just, like, stopped raining. Yeah, yeah, they just couldn't
Leif:get it done.
Steve:Yeah, yeah. Super fucking.
Leif:But yeah, she. Well,
Leif:there's like, been almost zero characterization of this
Leif:woman other than she thinks Rufus is hot.
Steve:Yeah, other than she thinks Rufus is hot enough to
Steve:steal him away from his wife
Steve:or just bang him behind his wife's.
Leif:She is presumably married too. I Think.
Steve:Yeah, I mean, we know she was cheated on,
Steve:and so. But she referred to. She never said
Steve:ex husband. Yeah, right.
Leif:And she sounded like she just kind of living with it.
Steve:Yeah, it sounds like she just.
Steve:That they just allow each other to do
Steve:whatever. Or she knows what he's doing,
Steve:and so now she's gonna do it too
Steve:unhealthy. No matter. No matter what.
Leif:Which, of course, is what Rufus is doing as well.
Steve:Yes, which is exactly what Rufus is doing. You're all
Steve:dumb teenagers.
Leif:Serena shows up to the Empire suite looking to get
Leif:busy with Nate. However, while it appears Serena
Leif:knows well enough to avoid Blair's bad advice, Nate seems to be
Leif:following. Dan's being rebuffed by Nate causes
Leif:Serena to spiral and go against her instinct to ignore Blair.
Leif:She calls Damien and invites him to be her date for the state
Leif:dinner. Gossip Girl brings us to the break with
Leif:Ora, uh, ora lot. No matter
Leif:what language you say it in. Looks like S just
Leif:started the clock on a ticking time bomb.
Steve:Nate, you dumb fuck. And of course,
Steve:Serena responds by being a fucking
Steve:narcissist. What? He doesn't want
Steve:to go now? Okay, then I'm gonna call that other guy that's
Steve:clearly fucking into me and go with
Steve:him.
Leif:Uh, yeah, just. Just use this person.
Steve:Yeah, I'm gonna use this person to play games
Steve:with the dude that I actually want to be with.
Leif:And we move into Act 3. Dan
Leif:and Rufus are waking up under the same roof for the
Leif:first time in a while, and things are a bit awkward.
Leif:Rufus is evasive on whatever is going on
Leif:between him and Lily. He does, however, admit to
Leif:wanting to stay in denial a little longer.
Steve:Dan has no tolerance for this
Steve:at all. I fucking loved how he
Steve:was just like, shut that shit down. Like, okay, you don't want
Steve:to talk to me? Make your own damn waffles. I'm out.
Leif:Well, he's probably pissed he has to share the loft again.
Steve:Yeah, yeah. Like. Like. Like I have this place to
Steve:myself. And now my dad can't work things out with his
Steve:fucking wife because he's acting like a fucking child
Steve:and will do his own advice.
Leif:Damien is at the penthouse to pick up the jacket that
Leif:Jenny has created. He then tells her that he's taking
Leif:Serena to dinner instead of and she will wear the
Leif:jacket. Jenny gets a little jealous and threatens to
Leif:sell Serena about the drugs in the jacket. Damian puts
Leif:her in a stalemate when he says he will then be forced
Leif:to tell Serena, uh, of how Jenny knew about the drugs.
Steve:Damian, you're such a bad Business person. Like, you're
Steve:choosing the girl over the business.
Steve:Yeah. Which. That's really bad
Steve:for business. And as we see
Steve:tonight.
Leif:Yes. As Jenny points out later.
Steve:Yeah. Just a fucking idiot.
Leif:Blair comes back to the Empire suite to find
Leif:Chuck is blowing her off again. They argue over
Leif:which is more important. Chuck looking up some
Leif:random woman or Blair's social climbing
Leif:agenda.
Steve:Yeah. And at this point, Blair knows she's not some random
Steve:woman. And so is Blair
Steve:really this callous and really
Steve:this, uh, stop doing that and worry about this.
Steve:Or is she trying to push. Push Chuck into
Steve:saying who she is? Does
Steve:Blair know at this point she has already seen
Steve:the file? Yeah.
Leif:That she had a locket of part.
Steve:But later on, when Chuck picks her up,
Steve:he said, you saw the file. You
Steve:know, she's more than some random woman.
Steve:So I kind of got wonder if Blair
Steve:here is already
Steve:Put that together and just kind of.
Leif:I didn't get that at all.
Steve:I'm actually just kind of thinking of it now in
Steve:hindsight, because of that later scene.
Steve:Because later on, Chuck says, you saw the
Steve:file. You know, that she's more than some random person.
Leif:Yeah, she. I mean, she dated his dad.
Steve:Right.
Leif:But Blair doesn't know about the flowers. Doesn't know
Leif:about. Yeah, she. She doesn't know all the
Leif:details.
Steve:She doesn't know all the details. I'm just saying
Steve:I feel like on one end, it could just be Blair
Steve:being Blair and, like, come do my thing. Your thing
Steve:is stupid. I feel like there could also be an angle to
Steve:this where Blair is, like, I'm gonna call your thing
Steve:stupid until you admit that it's not. Yeah.
Leif:I just don't think Blair would treat it like that if she thought
Leif:it was his mom.
Steve:I get that. I guess I just felt like this
Steve:was a little out of character for her, a
Steve:little more un. Understanding
Steve:for Chuck, because as soon as.
Leif:He did tell her that she thought it might be her mom, that's
Leif:when she completely dropped Monsieur dirty thing.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:And went with him.
Steve:Yeah. Yeah.
Leif:Outside the ball, Nate sees Serena arrive arm in
Leif:arm with Damien. Jenny tells him all about
Leif:Damien and that he probably hooked up with Serena in
Leif:boarding school. Jenny begs Nate to allow her
Leif:to rescue him for once.
Steve:Sure you are, Jenny. I. I dug it. I.
Steve:I thought Jenny was clever. Uh, which
Steve:Jenny is clever. I liked her
Steve:showing up with Nate, Showing up for Nate and going in with Nate.
Steve:I don't think Serena was with this guy
Steve:back then. I think because the guy said, what happened to that
Steve:girl I wanted.
Leif:Yeah, but Jenny was Just pushing buttons.
Steve:But she was pushing buttons. Yeah. Well done, Jenny.
Steve:Well played, I should say.
Leif:And, uh, she never says. He definitely did. She says, I think.
Steve:I think. Yeah.
Leif:Plausible deniability. She learned from Blair.
Steve:She learned from Blair. Mhm.
Leif:Nate and Jenny meet M. Serena and Damien at the coat
Leif:check. Nate and Serena question their respective
Leif:partners, and Jenny and Damien verbally spar.
Leif:Serena declines to check the jacket.
Leif:Gossip Girl closes the act with.
Leif:So much for diplomacy. Let the international
Leif:games begin.
Steve:You know, Serena and Nate just being dumb at each other
Steve:when they first walk in, but then when she
Steve:doesn't check the coat.
Steve:I don't know. I didn't see that coming. And
Steve:I knew that her wearing the coat was
Steve:gonna backfire. I didn't even
Steve:think of just the. Oh, no, I love this coat. I'm gonna wear it.
Steve:Like, don't. You fucking idiot.
Steve:If you took the person who planned this,
Steve:you'd be fine right now.
Leif:Yep. Yep. We move into Act
Leif:4 at the ball. Blair introduces herself
Leif:to Damien, who quickly excuses himself.
Leif:Blair commends Serena for following
Leif:her advice. Blair also immediately pegs
Leif:Jenny. Being with Nate being her own doing and not
Leif:Nate's. Serena wishes Blair bonne
Leif:chance with Monsieur Derry.
Steve:I love this little best friend check in.
Steve:And the. Oh, come on, Blair. Anyone
Steve:would know that you're an elitist snob who's
Steve:perfect for running a secret society.
Steve:When Serena at the end of the conference.
Steve:Aw.
Leif:But yeah, I like the Blair nose. Nate
Leif:would not think of bringing Jenny on his own.
Steve:Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. That she instantly
Steve:clocks Jenny as. No, no, no, no.
Steve:She. She's up to something.
Leif:She's behind this.
Steve:Yes, she is behind this. Nate might
Steve:think he brought Jenny to get back
Steve:at you, but it's only because Jenny wants him to
Steve:think that. Oh, Nate.
Leif:Damien is having problems with his customer because
Leif:Serena didn't check the jacket as was planned. Jenny
Leif:continues to mock Damien, but he remains confident he
Leif:can the plan. And Serena's close.
Steve:Yeah. I love Jenny just
Steve:owning him.
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:This whole time. But also, like,
Steve:Damian just totally overestimates
Steve:himself and his
Steve:relationship with Serena.
Steve:Obviously, this is a kid who's never been told. No.
Steve:Or at least has never listened to.
Steve:No. And I just. I love
Steve:how confident he is.
Leif:And he only knows the old Serena quote,
Leif:unquote.
Steve:Yes, exactly. Which even
Steve:there, I always got the impression that she went
Steve:to boarding school to. To change.
Steve:Right. That she slept with Nate and was like,
Steve:I can't do this anymore and ran
Steve:away to boarding school. So I kind of
Steve:got the impression that that's where the drinking stopped
Steve:and the wild party Serena
Steve:stopped. But this is indicating otherwise.
Leif:Yeah, I don't think that's the case. I think she. She
Leif:left because she didn't want to deal with the fallout with Blair.
Steve:I guess coming back, I guess it was more the
Steve:Dan stuff that got her out of the
Steve:arty lifestyle and whatnot.
Leif:Uh, Nate and Serena continue to accuse each other
Leif:of playing games. However, Damian interrupts and
Leif:pulls Serena away to meet some people.
Leif:As they are walking away, Damian looks back and whispers at
Leif:Nate, thanking him for keeping his date company.
Leif:Such a sleazeball.
Steve:He's such a sleazeball. And he just. And he thinks
Steve:he's just got this, and he's so
Steve:dumb. And also, Nate and Serena
Steve:are just. They're this close to just talking, and
Steve:it's just. Nope, gotta be dumb.
Leif:When Damian serena about Nate, she
Leif:admits she was using Damien to make Nate jealous.
Leif:Damian suggests they fully commit to the bit and starts
Leif:trying to take the jacket off and then tries to lean in for the
Leif:kiss. Serena rebuffs him and apologizes again for
Leif:leading him on. That's when Damian goes from
Leif:sleazy to creepy, grabbing her arm and slut
Leif:shaming her.
Steve:There's a lot to take in in this little bit here because
Steve:there's. First of all, there's Serena just super
Steve:casually. Oh, yeah, totally, totally.
Steve:Brought here just to make him jealous. Yeah, he's probably gonna be my
Steve:boyfriend. I totally brought you here to make you jealous. Sorry
Steve:about that. And he's like, oh, well,
Steve:okay, then, uh, we should fuck. And she's
Steve:like, uh, no, no, I
Steve:just told you I like that guy. Like, I'm not
Steve:into you. No, no, no. But I used to really want to
Steve:have sex with you. So, like, what happened
Steve:to her? It's like, well,
Steve:that's not who I am now. But also,
Steve:I didn't sleep with you. Then why would I
Steve:now like you, you, uh,
Steve:creep. Yeah, it's just disgusting. Yeah.
Leif:Blair approaches Monsieur Durie, who is outside
Leif:smoking a cigarette, but seems perturbed that she wasn't
Leif:given a formal introduction. Blair is then
Leif:distracted by the arrival of Chuck, who confesses that he
Leif:believes Elizabeth is his mother.
Steve:So he finally admits it out loud.
Steve:And you're right that this is where
Steve:Blair does change her demeanor
Steve:and goes with him.
Leif:Jenny finds Nate wallowing with a drink.
Leif:Jenny encourages him to not let Serena get away
Leif:this time, but also mocks him for following the romantic
Leif:advice from someone who has a Cabbage patch doll.
Steve:Yeah, first, I loved
Steve:this Scene, the Nate and Jenny talking
Steve:to each other, getting that advice.
Steve:I also love the Cedric shout out
Steve:that we haven't had one yet this season, so that was
Steve:fun too.
Leif:And again, like, you know, they're clearly setting
Leif:up Dan and Vanessa right now. And Chuck and Blair
Leif:are still strong, but the writers keep
Leif:dropping hints of Dan and Blair because they both have
Leif:cabbage passionate dolls. They both give the bad advice this episode,
Leif:which is like they're dropping hints.
Steve:Yes. Which I'm. I'm waiting. I'm all
Steve:for that. I'm all for that
Steve:matchup because I
Steve:love. Whenever they're on screen together,
Steve:Chuck and.
Leif:Blair are debating on if Elizabeth could be
Leif:his mother. At the end of the conversation, Blair tells
Leif:Chuck that no matter what the outcome, she will be
Leif:there for him. In this, Gossip Girl
Leif:says,
Leif:sometimes, despite the risk, the only thing to
Leif:do is seize the moment. Then we see
Leif:Serena being pulled into the goat room
Leif:or whatever else you can grab. Gossip
Leif:Girl quips as we go to break.
Steve:Now this is another secret society. Blair is
Steve:turning her back on for Chuck.
Leif:Same one.
Steve:Yes. I thought there was also one last
Steve:season that the Colonial.
Steve:The Colonial Colony Club. There
Steve:was. When Blair walked out, there was the thing where
Steve:they were trashing Chuck.
Leif:They're also trashing Serena, too.
Steve:Uh, they were. They were trashing Serena and Chuck. You're right.
Steve:Then I'll. I'll go. Choosing her friends over
Steve:the secret society is interesting,
Steve:especially because I, um, haven't seen Chuck
Steve:choose Blair over anything.
Leif:No.
Steve:Like, I see. I see Blair choosing Chuck
Steve:for a lot of stuff. I see Chuck doing stuff
Steve:for Blair and choosing Blair
Steve:after the fact, but I don't see him
Steve:sacrificing for Blair the way Blair
Steve:sacrifices for Chuck.
Leif:Will you have to make a choice between his mother and Blair?
Steve:That'd be a weird choice to have to make.
Leif:We move into Act 5. We find out
Leif:it was Nate who grabbed Serena this time. The
Leif:pair start getting hot and heavy, and clothing, including
Leif:the drug jackets, start to come off.
Steve:Banging in a coat closet.
Steve:Banging at the coat check.
Leif:Yep.
Steve:All right, guys. At least there's a couch.
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:Yeah. This is not the high school dressing room.
Leif:Rufus finally comes home to the penthouse and confronts
Leif:her about her night with Dr. Daddy.
Steve:Yeah, again, Lily
Steve:is the reason Serena is a narcissist.
Steve:Lily's a narcissist. I. Lily
Steve:owns it. Lily knows who she is, but
Steve:Lily's a fucking narcissist.
Leif:Somehow the Koch woman doesn't see Nate and
Leif:Serena getting some heavy petting on the couch.
Leif:We, as the Audience also see the drug jacket on the floor,
Leif:and it looks like one of the packets was broken open.
Steve:Yeah. Oh, the pills are exposed.
Leif:That never comes up, though.
Steve:Yeah. Why are you showing me this? It felt like they
Steve:had something written for it to be
Steve:more. And then in, like, reshoots, they were like, okay, I'm
Steve:gonna scrap that.
Leif:Jenny gloats to a humble Damien a bit. Because of the
Leif:botched job, Damien has to run back to Europe.
Leif:However, Jenny, always quick on her feet,
Leif:spots the jacket on the floor and makes sure the ambassador's
Leif:daughter will get it.
Steve:Yeah. Once again, they pick up the
Steve:jacket. No one sees the pills. It's like,
Steve:oh, well, okay. But Jenny saves the
Steve:day, and I.
Leif:Feel like she kind of planned this because she told
Leif:Nate to go after Serena.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:And, uh, she just knows that the ads are just gonna burn.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:She'll take off the jacket eventually.
Steve:Yeah, I know those two.
Leif:Chuck, with Blair standing behind him for backup,
Leif:corners Elizabeth. However, Elizabeth plays dumb
Leif:and downplays her relationship with Bart. Chuck
Leif:continues to dig, but Elizabeth continues to deny and
Leif:finally tells him goodbye. Blair consoles Chuck
Leif:and excuses herself to the ladies room while Chuck gets the
Leif:car.
Steve:I, uh, hate it. I hate it.
Steve:I hate this. I hate this scene.
Steve:I hate this plotline. It was
Steve:so. It didn't go anywhere. It
Steve:was nothing. This entire episode
Steve:felt like a filler episode. It felt like it
Steve:was here's some stuff to set up stuff later on.
Steve:But it felt like they needed an hour episode
Steve:to fill to show Jenny make a
Steve:drug deal. And then they just filled all of this stuff in
Steve:around it that's like, oh, well, Nate and Serena need to get together,
Steve:and we have this thing now with Chuck and his
Steve:mom. But, like, we need to definitely make sure that
Steve:lasts at least three to six
Steve:episodes. So we just need this one of them
Steve:to just confront each other and just. It
Steve:was nothing. It was so
Steve:nothing.
Leif:This kind of retroactively makes Bart an even
Leif:worse father. Yeah, because the whole reason supposedly
Leif:that he hated Chuck was because he killed his mom.
Steve:But he didn't. Yeah.
Leif:So he just hated Chuck.
Steve:Yeah, so he just hated Chuck because. Well.
Steve:Well, to be fair, Chuck was pretty hateable back
Steve:then. But then you're about to, uh, confront.
Steve:Blair's about to confront her. Right. Okay. Yeah.
Leif:So Blair, instead of going to the restroom, she gets
Leif:Elizabeth alone and calls her out on her lies. And
Leif:Gossip Girl leads us to the final
Leif:break. Uh,
Leif:could there be a secret even Bea can't crack?
Leif:Only time will tell.
Steve:Here's the thing. We've seen
Steve:this Blair technique before.
Steve:Can you give me a second? I'm going to run to the restroom. Can
Steve:you give Catherine and I a second? Can you give.
Steve:When Blair will excuse herself alone with the
Steve:woman who she's about to tear down. She
Steve:doesn't have anything. You don't have any leverage.
Steve:You're just some fucking kid who's there with
Steve:her. Maybe son who's like,
Steve:what you're doing is wrong. So again, it was just
Steve:nothing. Blair always has this power
Steve:and they made her have this power here of
Steve:like moved her enough for the later call.
Steve:Right. So Blair comes in and
Steve:intimidates this woman, but she doesn't have anything.
Steve:There's nothing to intimidate her with. There's nothing
Steve:but her own conscience. Which if
Steve:her own conscience hasn't bothered her for 18 years,
Steve:why does Blair now
Steve:make that happen? I hated it.
Leif:We move into the epilogue at the
Leif:penthouse. Lilius Trickle truth thing. Rufus.
Leif:She missed the kissing doctor daddy but denies
Leif:sleeping with him. Rufus storms off after stating
Leif:that he needs time away from Lily to figure this
Leif:out.
Steve:His reaction of we were engaged,
Steve:Rufus. The last time
Steve:Lily was married, the day before.
Steve:What were you doing? That's
Steve:right, Lily. Yep.
Leif:You know the old saying, if she'll cheat with you, she'll probably cheat on
Leif:you.
Steve:Yeah. So how are you so
Steve:blown away that she kissed this dude? She didn't
Steve:sleep with him. She kissed her ex husband. She
Steve:banged her ex boyfriend the day before her
Steve:wedding. So yeah, this is kind of her
Steve:M.O. she'll probably now leave you for
Steve:him. That's. It's a cycle, Rufus.
Steve:But don't worry because if this is really the pattern,
Steve:you could be number nine also. Or ten.
Steve:You could be number ten also. Just go right back through.
Leif:It's funny because you were earlier comparing Serena
Leif:and Lily and how Serena is just like Lily
Leif:so much so this really reminded me of scene from
Leif:2 episode, uh, episode 11 where
Leif:Serena was telling Blair it was just one
Leif:kiss with Trip.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:Well, yeah, it became much more than just one
Leif:kiss.
Steve:Yeah. Yes.
Steve:And Rufus being so mad
Steve:about it. And I get being mad, but his
Steve:reaction, like you, first of all, you should have had this conversation
Steve:a long time ago. But also when he's like,
Steve:I need to figure this out away from you.
Steve:And it's the super
Steve:dramatic terrible acting by
Steve:Matt. Like I, I, he's
Steve:only good like 25% of the time
Steve:anymore. He can't do angry, he can't do
Steve:shocked. He can't do, he can barely do
Steve:funny. He can only do like pining for Lily.
Steve:And that's the. His best. Pining for Lily.
Steve:Parenting Dan. That's his best
Steve:acting. And you're trying to work things
Steve:out with your wife away from her. Do
Steve:you hear that? That's not how you do things. That's not
Steve:what you would tell your kids. Fucking
Steve:idiot. I hate Rufus.
Leif:Indeed, Dan is leaving an awkward
Leif:voicemail for Vanessa, this time asking for a friend to
Leif:talk about the issues with Rufus and Lily.
Steve:This is when I realized it was a Vanessa free episode.
Steve:I was like, wow, we have this whole episode
Steve:and didn't once have to deal with Vanessa. That's pretty
Steve:sick.
Leif:Rufus is staring at the numbers on the elevator going down
Leif:and at the last moment decides to stop on Holland's
Leif:floor. He knocks on her door, and she gives
Leif:a sly little smile before silently
Leif:inviting him in.
Steve:You fucking dumbass. Like, what an
Steve:asshole. I'm gonna
Steve:get even. Yeah, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm
Steve:gonna go visit another woman and probably do stuff with
Steve:her. Just kiss her.
Leif:Child. Child.
Steve:He is. He's a fucking teenager.
Leif:Nate and Serena are post coitus in the courtroom. They
Leif:decide to stop pushing their luck and start cleaning themselves up.
Leif:However, Serena's jacket is nowhere to be found.
Steve:Ah, her jacket's nowhere to be found. Her dress
Steve:I thought was still there on the ground, but her jacket's
Steve:nowhere to be found. The jacket that covered her shoulders.
Steve:Okay, guess she definitely needs another one to leave
Steve:in.
Leif:Well, depending on, uh, the episode
Leif:aired on March. In March. I don't. I don't know exactly what
Leif:time they're saying it is in the universe.
Leif:So if it's in New York in February or January,
Leif:you're right.
Steve:Except for the fact that that's not what she came in with in the
Steve:first place. Like. Like she was ready to leave with this jacket
Steve:that just covered her shoulders. She wouldn't have stolen the other
Steve:thing, which, again, to me is a writing
Steve:thing. Uh, a, uh, mix between the writing and the
Steve:design staff that it's. She walks in
Steve:with this coat, and the writer is
Steve:imagining a coat and
Steve:leaves with this other coat. And then you have the
Steve:designer like, oh, I know how I can make something with these buttons and
Steve:stuff like that. That would look really cool.
Leif:It's a shawl. It's a shawl.
Leif:Speaking of the jacket, Damon and Jenny are admiring it,
Leif:as is now being worn by the ambassador's daughter who's leaving
Leif:the party. Damien tries to link arms with
Leif:Jenny, who scoffs at him and tells him
Leif:this wasn't a date. If you want one, you'll have to ask.
Leif:Damian is left tongue tied, and Gossip Girl begins her
Leif:closing monologue. With enough time,
Leif:eventually we see what was right in front of
Leif:us.
Steve:Jenny, you're so much better than this dude. This dude is such a.
Steve:Huh? Do not flirt with him. You are so
Steve:much better than him.
Leif:But he's cute and exciting and he's.
Steve:Rich and he's a diplomat's son and all that.
Leif:Danger. Danger. He's a danger jockey.
Steve:Yeah, danger. Uh, Jenny Humphrey. Danger.
Leif:Nate and Serena are giggling as they tip the coat check woman
Leif:for her great service. And we see some random
Leif:complaining that Serena took her coat. Nate subtly
Leif:brags about his stamina. Uh. And Gossip Girl
Leif:continues. And realize no matter how
Leif:long it took, it was worth the wait.
Steve:Yeah. Again, compared to the coat you
Steve:came in with, you didn't really need another coat to leave,
Steve:but.
Leif:Or you could have just borrowed dates for the.
Steve:Or you could have borrowed Nates to get to the limo. Yeah,
Steve:right.
Leif:But Serena's a narcissist.
Steve:Yes, she's a narcissist.
Leif:Definitely has main character syndrome.
Steve:Yes. Yeah. Whoever made her a main
Steve:character really did her a disservice.
Leif:Chuck and Blair, uh, are back at the suite, and Chuck says he
Leif:will never have a real mother. Blair counters
Leif:with, that doesn't mean you're alone. I love
Leif:you, Chuck, and I always be your family.
Leif:Blair then gets up and walks away.
Steve:Yeah, Deuces.
Steve:This whole plot is so fucking weak.
Leif:As Chuck stares at the locket, Gossip Girl continues.
Leif:But for some, that time never comes.
Leif:We see Elizabeth dialing a number, and then Chuck's
Leif:phone vibrating on the table. Instead of healing old
Leif:wounds, the waitress opens new ones
Leif:time after time. Xo. Xo
Leif:concludes Gossip Girl as we see
Leif:Elizabeth holding the other half of the locket,
Leif:which contains a picture of herself holding
Leif:a baby.
Steve:Yeah, why all the lies, lady? Which, of
Steve:course, there's probably going to be. Whatever the explanation
Steve:is, it's going to suck. Let's go back
Steve:to what we've always said, that these writers would be great writing
Steve:teachers, but when they actually have to fill in a
Steve:plot hole like this m.
Steve:It's gonna be weak. I can't imagine
Steve:it being like, uh, oh, that's a valid reason to
Steve:do all. To ignore your kid and to let him go through all of
Steve:this his whole life. I'm not going to be
Steve:satisfied with this.
Leif:The writers are all set up at no payoff.
Steve:Yes. Yes.
Leif:Just like. So we got that. The previous scene where Blair
Leif:Says I'll always be your family. And then immediately gets
Leif:up. Mm, yeah, that's gotta come into
Leif:play.
Steve:Yes, well, and we're telling all these
Steve:lies. Also reflected. I started laughing when
Steve:you were reading it. Cause I was thinking back to the scene where Chuck
Steve:confronts her and he pulls out the lock. And she's like, oh,
Steve:you can keep that, motherfucker. I am keeping
Steve:it.
Steve:You left it behind.
Leif:The full closing monologue for Gossip Girl
Leif:is,
Leif:with enough time, eventually we all see what was
Leif:right in front of us and realize no matter how long
Leif:it took, it was worth the wait. But for some,
Leif:that time never comes. Instead of healing old
Leif:wounds, the wait just opens new ones
Leif:time after time. Xo XO
Leif:Gossip Girl. And that is
Leif:our episode. So what's coming next?
Steve:I think we've got a. We've got a little run of Nate and
Steve:Serena. There's all their. They're gonna
Steve:have drama in there because they're both gonna
Steve:constantly be drawn away by
Steve:whatever shiny objects are put in front of them. Whoever
Steve:says they love I love you to Serena Next.
Steve:I do see this
Steve:Blair, Dan, and maybe even
Steve:Chuck Jenny thing I kind of see,
Steve:like, uh. Because nothing would
Steve:hurt the other more, right?
Steve:For Chuck to cheat with Jenny
Steve:would be the worst for Blair,
Steve:maybe Serena. But still, Jenny would be such a
Steve:terrible one. And for Blair to
Steve:cheat with Dan would be really
Steve:horrible to Chuck. Uh, because
Steve:they hate each other for the most part.
Steve:I guess they've kind of come around at this point.
Steve:But Dan doesn't have any love lost for Chuck,
Steve:man. Nor should he, nor should he, nor should he,
Steve:nor should we. But they've done such a great job of this.
Steve:Glow up. If the writers can do one
Steve:thing, they can make a. A predator look good.
Steve:They can really turn a predator around.
Steve:The other big prediction at this point, I kind
Steve:of hope Lily and Rufus just end it.
Steve:I don't want them to have drama. I
Steve:want them to just be parents. Why
Steve:are the showrunners so insistent on
Steve:making Lilly and Rufus have drama?
Steve:It's a kids show. Let the show be
Steve:about the kids and let the parents just be fucking
Steve:parents so they can be half
Steve:decent parents sometimes.
Steve:Let Lilly be a parent to anyone but
Steve:her kids. And let Rufence be a parent
Steve:to pretty much everyone but Jenny. And then let
Steve:that be their roles. Stop having them
Steve:get this. I hate it.
Leif:Any. Anything else?
Steve:Uh, Rufus is totally going to bang that chick.
Leif:Who do we think this woman is?
Steve:The head of the, uh, hoa you mean? Yeah,
Steve:I mean, that's as Far as I've gotten with it is
Steve:head of the hoa. I mean, does she have something out for Lily? I
Steve:mean, Lily probably pisses off the
Steve:ho. Lily. I think they've actually
Steve:established that Lily is pissed off the HOA
Steve:and if not, she seems like someone that would.
Steve:So I could see that being a thing. But maybe she's
Steve:something else. Wait a second. What's her
Steve:husband? Her husband is a, uh, something.
Steve:Wonder if her husband bang Lily. I wonder if her
Steve:husband wonder if her husband
Steve:cheated on her with Lily.
Steve:That would scan Wonder if her husband is
Steve:Serena's dad.
Leif:You would think they would mention that plot twist.
Steve:He lives in the building, Serena. He lives
Steve:downstairs. He just.
Steve:He doesn't have penthouse money anymore.
Leif:He doesn't care about you at all. He cares that
Leif:little about that much.
Steve:Dear Delete letter. Dear Serena, I banged your
Steve:mom. I don't love you.
Steve:Xoxo your dad
Steve:also, I'm Gossip Girl.
Steve:He's been making her life a living hell for the
Steve:past two years.
Steve:Her dad's actually Gossip Girl.
Leif:Well, on that note, let's get into some segments.
Leif:So the Wayback Machine, a little, little creaky. Uh,
Leif:this week couldn't find either tells you without
Leif:pity or fan forum. So I did see find
Leif:a Reddit post from six months ago. Someone was watching this
Leif:episode for the first time.
Steve:That's really weird. I wonder if it's a matter of. There
Steve:was that three month hiatus and no one was looking for Gossip
Steve:Girl.
Leif:Because yes,
Leif:in the case of the Taliban without pity. Those are all
Leif:on archive.com. so they. They're not. No, they
Leif:no longer exist. And you can.
Leif:Sometimes the link is there, but when I click on it just says
Leif:no, we did. We didn't archive this page.
Steve:Oh, okay.
Leif:Fan forum. I don't know what was up because they did have
Leif:specific episodes. I don't know if you're familiar with fan forum,
Leif:but they have like a million boards as
Leif:there's boards for the individual
Leif:actors. So there's gay Jenny
Leif:episode 513 discussion thread. Wow, there's
Leif:a very specific 513 episode thread.
Leif:There's a. Even a Vanessa one and she's not even in the
Leif:episode. But
Leif:this, this uh, this one poster, she had the same complaint
Leif:about this me about Serena asking Damian to text her number.
Leif:And does Nate even go to college?
Leif:Yeah, I mean, Columbia's supposed to be pretty
Leif:competitive. I've heard. Why didn't they just make
Leif:Nate go to some sports college?
Steve:Yeah, why was Columbia his? Because this is the one that
Steve:he wanted to go to. Right?
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:I mean, grandfather wanted him to go to Yale
Steve:and he wanted to go to Columbia, but just so he could.
Leif:Prove that he could get him himself.
Steve:Yes. Which he did. But also.
Steve:Did he. Because. Because did
Steve:you really graduate St. Jude's by yourself?
Leif:And they're also confused on how Chuck's mom is still
Leif:alive.
Steve:Yeah. Why is Chuck's mom
Steve:still alive?
Leif:Bad plot.
Steve:It's terrible.
Leif:Speaking of which, let's go ahead and get into some episode
Leif:grades.
Leif:I went first last week, so you can go first this time.
Steve:C minus. And I
Steve:feel like I'm being
Steve:generous. I feel like as I thought about
Steve:it the first time when I first wrote it down a grade, I was.
Steve:The directing is okay. The
Steve:episode is terrible. The writing,
Steve:the writing, the plot,
Steve:the show running
Steve:I would even say is terrible here. I feel
Steve:like they had some good scenes with
Steve:besties. They had cute
Steve:Blair Serena scenes. They had some cute
Steve:Dan and Nate stuff. And
Steve:Blair of course is always fantastic
Steve:on screen. Jenny was probably
Steve:the only person who I thought really had
Steve:a good episode. And all of the
Steve:plot lines are just fucking dumb.
Steve:Except the Jenny dealing drugs. I think
Steve:that she's dumb for doing it. I don't think it's
Steve:out of character. I don't think it's a bad storyline.
Steve:All the other storylines were terrible.
Leif:Yeah, I, I actually have the same exact grade. C minus.
Leif:And for most of the same reasons. Like I really like the
Leif:Jenny storyline. The Jenny. Even though
Leif:Damien is a creepy sleaze ball,
Leif:but he was well written character. And
Leif:Kevin size scars does a great job acting the
Leif:character.
Steve:Yeah. And, and I like
Steve:Jenny with the sleaze ball because Jenny can has the
Steve:cajones to deal with a sleaze ball.
Steve:Serena when she's with a sleaze ball. It's.
Leif:Oh, I'm, um, so in love.
Steve:Oh, I'm so in love with how sleazy you are,
Steve:sir. I can't wait to go to your.
Steve:To your high school reunion. Your 10th high
Steve:school reunion next year. Next week.
Leif:Five years ago.
Steve:Five years ago.
Leif:Yes, I like the Jenny, uh, Damon
Leif:stuff. I like the storylines. I like the name Serena
Leif:storyline. It was funny. They were being stupid at the beginning, but they
Leif:worked it out at the end. And Dan and
Leif:Blair giving the simultaneous bad advice.
Steve:Yeah, it was all cute. I didn't hate the.
Steve:I wasn't even thinking about the Nate and
Steve:Serena stuff. I didn't hate that stuff. It was very in
Steve:line with them and who they are. They
Steve:were idiots, but they're Idiots.
Leif:Yeah, it was really the Rufus and Lily
Leif:and the Chuck's mom stuff that just brought the
Leif:episode down to C minus.
Steve:Terrible.
Leif:Moving over to stock watch, who do you have going up?
Steve:Nate and Serena getting their shit together.
Steve:Uh, Lil, Jenny's stock
Steve:definitely went up. The neighbor
Steve:homewrecker Holland. Her stock is
Steve:going up. And that's who I
Steve:have.
Leif:So I had those four. Nate, Serena, uh,
Leif:Jenny and Blair for the. Or. Sorry, Holland. For the same reasons.
Leif:Uh, but also I had Blair because she was a good
Leif:girlfriend. Yeah, she was there and she
Leif:stood by him. She was a little snoopy at the
Leif:beginning, but she didn't push it too hard. So
Leif:I gave her an up. Who do you have going down?
Steve:So I'll start with Blair. So I gave
Steve:Blair down because she gave up another
Steve:secret society for Chuck who isn't going to
Steve:repay that favor. So I saw her as
Steve:giving something up.
Leif:Was she really giving it up though? She didn't seem like she was getting
Leif:anywhere. Anyways.
Steve:I feel like had she pivoted and gone
Steve:for it, I think she could have uh, the way that
Steve:I felt like that was what we were supposed to believe that
Steve:when she went out there that she could have
Steve:worked her way in to that conversation.
Steve:So I did have her as going down. And, and
Steve:also I'm going to reiterate that a lot of that is.
Steve:I don't think Chuck would do this for her. And so I
Steve:think that she is pouring her resources
Steve:into something that is not going to net gains for
Steve:her.
Leif:Fair enough.
Steve:Yeah.
Leif:Um.
Steve:I had Chuck going down because
Steve:your. Your own mom doesn't even want to talk to
Steve:you. Your mom. Your mom. You
Steve:think your dad hates you. Your mom faked her
Steve:own death to never see you again and
Steve:then lied to you about it. She'll visit your
Steve:dad's grave and put flowers on it,
Steve:but doesn't want to see you.
Steve:Damn Chuck. I also had Rufus and Lily going
Steve:down because they suck. Mhm.
Steve:I have Damien going down because he's a
Steve:idiot in the sleaze ball. I have Dan going
Steve:down for pining over
Steve:Vanessa. And also,
Steve:also I feel like at the end of that episode, if you ask Dan,
Steve:Dan would say his stock was down. He would.
Steve:Not only is he pining for Vanessa, he really is kind of
Steve:going through family stuff and needs a best
Steve:friend right now. But he kind of fucked that up.
Leif:Yeah.
Steve:So that's my going down.
Leif:For me, I had Rufus and Lily
Leif:because they were horrible and children.
Leif:Damien because he's a sleazeball creep.
Leif:Chuck because he's. Yeah. His mom doesn't want him.
Leif:Elizabeth, because she's a horrible mother.
Steve:Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to put Elizabeth. Dan.
Leif:I also have because. Yeah, he was just a sad sack
Leif:and gave bad advice. And then I
Leif:also had Bart because he was mentioned and he
Leif:retroactively became a worse father.
Steve:Okay, yeah, go ahead. You can go ahead and add Bart for me
Steve:too, because that is true. But
Steve:here's the best outfits from the last
Steve:episode we've seen.
Leif:Moving on. Uh, to best outfit. Who do you got?
Steve:So in the beginning of the episode, the first time
Steve:that Blair goes to Chuck to talk about
Steve:how she wants the lunch, she was wearing this black.
Steve:I think it was a dress with a zipper on it and
Steve:very slight shoulder pad kind of thing. And I dug it.
Steve:And that was mine. I didn't really think that a lot of the
Steve:fashion stood out for me as much. I'll shout out
Steve:Blair's later dress that she wore to
Steve:the.
Leif:I thought all three of the ladies dresses for
Leif:the ball were good. Uh, Blair with her Victoria
Leif:Beckham, Jenny with the Andrew Gian,
Leif:and Serena with the Versace
Leif:ultimately landed on
Leif:Serena's dress, uh, outfit from earlier.
Leif:Just the whole look. She had the sweater dress
Leif:from Blue Girl, the plaid stockings, the thigh
Leif:high boots and the white jacket with the brass buttons and the
Leif:cashmere gloves.
Steve:Yeah, yeah. I also really wanted to shout out Jenny's,
Steve:uh, that, that like spider web dress thing.
Leif:I also really like Jenny's makeup.
Steve:Yes.
Leif:Which she also was very different from her normal style.
Steve:Yes. She did not look like a raccoon, uh,
Steve:burglar.
Leif:Yes. She, she still had the black
Leif:mascara, but then she had the pink eyeshadow and
Leif:matching cotton candy pink lipstick.
Steve:Yes.
Leif:Yeah, that is it for
Leif:segments. Is there anything you would like to plug this week?
Steve:I'm going to mention that I was actually
Steve:cast in a film. Friend
Steve:of our, our friend Colin from Turtle Ridge
Steve:has been in a few short films that he and a friend of his are
Steve:making, uh, have made. And now they're doing their first
Steve:feature length film and I will be playing
Steve:Colin's dad in it. That'll be, we'll be shooting
Steve:sometime in the fall, so. But we're going to start
Steve:putting out promotional fundraiser
Steve:stuff soon too. So going to start putting that
Steve:on people's radars. And if you want to follow
Steve:me, you'll find all kinds of stuff about it as I
Steve:start working on this. You can follow me at
Steve:TikTok. Steve Marshon
Steve:M A R C H I O N that's
Steve:TikTok and Instagram. You can also find
Steve:me on Blue sky at
Steve:the Weed Wizard. So go ahead and follow me
Steve:there. And that's what I've got going on right now.
Leif:Nothing for me to plug right now. But if you want to follow me,
Leif:you can find me on Instagram and threads and
Leif:bluesky at, uh, hot Capicola.
Leif:That's hot. C A P
Leif:I C O L A. You
Leif:can follow the podcast at non judging
Leif:Breakfast Pod on Instagram, Threads and
Leif:TikTok. You can also find links to our
Leif:subreddit, Patreon and discord servers
Leif:on our website
Leif:nonjudgingbreakfastpod.com
Leif:and if you'd like to.
Steve:Get in touch with us, we'd love to hear what you have to say.
Steve:Please send us an
Steve:email@nonjudgingbreakfastpodmail.com
Steve:we'd love to hear your thoughts and read them here
Steve:on the podcast along with any comments
Steve:you may leave as we did earlier today. And
Steve:while I'm mentioning it, please go ahead and hit that
Steve:like button. Hit the subscribe, hit the follow,
Steve:and please leave a comment. Let us know what you're
Steve:thinking about this episode. It really helps with our
Steve:visibility in Apple podcasts and on
Steve:Spotify, and it also lets us just connect with you
Steve:and know your thoughts. And finally, while you're
Steve:at it, while you're out there, let people know what you're
Steve:listening to and maybe you can make us your water
Steve:cooler talk.
Leif:We will be back next week to talk about
Leif:season three, episode 14,
Leif:the Lady Vanished.
Leif:The episode description reads, rufus
Leif:and Lily grow suspect of Jenny's relationship with
Leif:Damien. Chuck learns about the woman who may
Leif:or may not be his mother. And Dan and Vanessa
Leif:struggle through the awkwardness of dating other people.
Steve:People. So Dan. Jesus. Okay,
Steve:so that means that we're gonna see Dan.
Steve:Oh, my God, it's gonna be Willa. Dan's gonna be getting
Steve:sexually assaulted by Willa, uh, while trying to
Steve:sleep with Vanessa, who's banging Paul.
Steve:Got it.
Leif:Well, until next time.
Steve:Xoxo.
Leif:You're a little fast there.
Steve:Xoxo.
Leif:Yeah, I didn't finish my sentence.
Steve:Oh, my bad.
Leif:Until next time. You know you love us.
Steve:Xoxo.
Steve:Little premature.
Leif:Uh, click on the draw there, Steve. You need to take some
Leif:lessons from the Nate.
Steve:Every time you walk away, run away, you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there.
Steve:Every time you walk away, run away, you take a piece
Steve:of me with you there.
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away, you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:oh, it seems I'm.
Steve:Walking right to your door
Steve:my heart's.
Steve:Still resting m looking for something more
Steve:are you ever gonna see everything you mean to
Steve:me I'm trying really hard to believe
Steve:every time you walk away or run away you take a piece
Steve:of me with you there uh
Steve:every time you walk away or run away you take a piece
Steve:of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:never feels right when I'm out here on
Steve:my.
Steve:Own.
Steve:I left last night and it feels like
Steve:way too long m
Steve:Are you ever gonna see everything you mean.
Steve:To me I'm trying really hard to believe.
Steve:Every time you walk away run away you take a piece
Steve:of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:uh.
Steve:Come back to me.
Steve:Smile and you'll make my life
Steve:complete
Steve:every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a piece
Steve:of me with you there
Steve:every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there
Steve:Every time you walk away or run away you take a
Steve:piece of me with you there.